Constantly trying to shrink your body can come at a high cost. Instead of chasing outside approval, learn to tune into your own needs and validate yourself from the inside out.
Listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher by searching the show title on your preferred app.
Key Takeaways
If you’re ready to change how you approach diet and exercise, try these steps:
- Shift goals from appearance-focused to performance- or ability-based.
- Refuse to let outside voices dictate how much or what you should eat.
- Practice tuning into your body’s signals and trusting them.
The Cost of Seeking External Validation
Deanna Harder has worked in fitness since her teens. Early on she used sports—figure skating and bodybuilding among them—to stay lean and to follow strict rules that masked earlier disordered eating. Over time those rules took over her life; she recalls rushing home to eat and even getting a speeding ticket because she was desperate to stick to her plan. Today she helps women break free from all-or-nothing thinking, reframe their goals, and rebuild self-trust.
How Your Mindset Is Serving You
Aesthetic-focused sports pushed Deanna toward ever tighter control over food and training. She didn’t realize how much she was depriving her body and depending on praise from others to feel worthwhile. It wasn’t until her late 30s and early 40s that she sought help for exercise compulsion and eating disorders—an experience that now fuels her work supporting other women.
Learning to Trust Yourself Again
Leaving behind restriction and diet culture can be intimidating. Moderation, intuitive eating, and trusting your appetite are skills that take practice. Deanna believes those instincts still live inside each of us; the more we listen, stay mindful, and practice small acts of self-trust, the easier it becomes to hear what our bodies are asking for. Taking that leap opens up new freedom—and lasting satisfaction.
Ready to move from appearance-driven to action-driven goals? Share what resonated with Deanna’s story in the comments.
In This Episode
- How aesthetic sports shaped Deanna’s path (8:18)
- The moment she recognized unhealthy beliefs (17:22)
- How attention “before” and “after” reinforces diet culture (21:35)
- Challenges of shifting away from physique-focused goals (25:46)
- What the #GreatDietDisruption is and how to get involved (32:54)
- Practical tips for moving from aesthetic goals to performance goals (36:13)
Quotes
“Not everyone has a negative experience with physique sports, but for me it wasn’t wise to use that sport as my goal because I already had a history of body image and eating issues.” (9:41)
“There were many times I should have stopped, but the obsessiveness was stronger than anything I could control then.” (19:48)
“When I began eating-disorder counseling and stopped competing, I finally started validating myself—that changed everything.” (23:52)
“My body was suffering, and I didn’t listen until I’d had enough. You can’t help anyone until you’re ready to be helped.” (31:08)
“The ultimate form of control is trust. If control isn’t working, ask yourself what you’re really getting out of it.” (36:24)
Featured on the Show
Deanna Harder Website
Deanna Harder Online Coaching Programs
Moderation 365 Certification
Follow Deanna on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter
Follow Steph on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest
Please consider leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoyed the episode.
Related Episodes
Ep 342: Fitness Trackers and Listening to Your Body
Ep 219: How to Lead With Purpose & Positivity with Jill Coleman
From Physique Competitor to Diet Culture Disrupter w/ Deanna Harder – FULL TRANSCRIPT
Steph Gaudreau
In a culture that prizes physical perfection, the downsides of chasing an ideal are rarely discussed. Today’s guest, Deanna Harder, shares her journey from figure competitor to advocate for disrupting diet culture and trusting your body.
This episode includes discussion of eating disorders and compulsive exercise. If that’s sensitive for you, choose an episode from the archive that feels safer.
The Listen To Your Body podcast helps women who lift become stronger, fuel themselves without counting every bite, and perform better in and out of the gym. I’m Steph Gaudreau—strength coach, nutritional therapy practitioner, and certified intuitive eating counselor. Each week we talk about strength, food, psychology, recovery, and how to listen to your body.
Thanks for listening. Whether you’re a longtime follower or new here, I’m grateful you tuned in.
Strength Training for Women
My guest today is Deanna Harder, a fitness consultant and trainer with two decades in the industry. She joins us to discuss her history with physique competitions and how that shaped her current work supporting women to leave restrictive approaches behind and embrace healthier, performance-focused goals.
Many people assume that if they look a certain way, life will be easier. Deanna lived that pursuit and paid a price. She now helps people move from body-focused validation to trusting their own bodies and goals.
If you want to learn how to fuel for strength without counting every bite, see my group coaching info at my website.
Let’s jump in.
Deanna Harder
Thanks for having me—this has been a long-awaited dream.
Steph Gaudreau
We’re thrilled to finally have you here.
Nutrition for Women
Deanna Harder
Your podcast has been an education for me—free and invaluable. I’ve recommended it to many clients.
Steph Gaudreau
It’s rewarding to hear that the conversations resonate and help people learn from a range of experts.
Discipline in Bodybuilding
Steph Gaudreau
Deanna, tell us how you ended up where you are today and how your experiences shaped your approach.
Deanna Harder
I don’t want to demonize the bodybuilding world—many people enjoy it healthily. But for someone with a history of disordered eating like I had, it became an unhealthy trap. Competitions provided a perfect excuse to restrict, overtrain, and make fitness my sole identity. For me, shows led to a decade of obsessive behavior that took over my life.
The Good and Bad of Bodybuilding
Steph Gaudreau
That distinction matters—tools and practices are neutral; they affect people differently depending on their history and mindset.
Deanna Harder
Exactly. Many competitors experience lasting changes in how they view their bodies and food. I kept old photos and compared myself relentlessly. Looking back, the discipline taught me some valuable things, but it also led to harmful habits and anxiety I couldn’t see from inside it.
Diet Culture for Women Athletes
Steph Gaudreau
Tell us what a typical “dark prep” looked like for you and how it shaped daily life.
Deanna Harder
During peak prep we used morning weigh-ins to decide daily food. Portions were tightly controlled and foods were eliminated week by week. Cardio and food rules dominated every day. After a show, many competitors try to remain as lean as possible, so the cycle continues. For me, that meant canceling dates, obsessing over my stomach, and structuring my life around workouts and food. It spiraled into ten years of competing and constant restriction.
Switching to a Healthy Mindset
Steph Gaudreau
When did you realize this was no longer healthy?
Deanna Harder
There were several wake-up calls: losing my menstrual cycle, physical signs of malnutrition, anxiety around food, and even a speeding ticket because I was desperate to get home to eat. Doctors recommended eating disorder counseling, but I resisted for a long time. Eventually I accepted help, sought therapy, and began changing my language—from appearance goals to performance goals—and my life shifted.
Weight Loss Diet Culture
Steph Gaudreau
You mentioned external attention—how did compliments and social feedback affect you?
Deanna Harder
Compliments from the fitness community became my validation. When the praise stopped as I gained weight, I felt lost. I hadn’t learned to validate myself, so external approval drove my choices. It wasn’t until counseling and stopping competition that I began to find inner validation.
Helping Others Improve Nutrition
Steph Gaudreau
How did you pivot professionally to support women differently?
Deanna Harder
After my last show I realized I couldn’t keep doing this. I sought therapy, changed my language, and shifted to coaching that prioritizes function and moderation. I studied moderation-based approaches and started working with coaches who emphasize strength and process over appearance. I also learned to be cautious—any sport or goal can become obsessive if it replaces deeper needs.
Shifting Mindset Around Food
Deanna Harder
Moderation 365 and similar frameworks helped me teach clients to find the middle ground: no constant weighing, no rigid measuring, and no shame for enjoying food. I gained weight—what my body needed to heal—and regained sleep, fertility, and overall health. Now I work with women who want to quit dieting but still want structure as they relearn trust and moderation.
Great Diet Disruption
Steph Gaudreau
Tell us about the Great Diet Disruption.
Deanna Harder
The disruption is simple: we can trust ourselves. Diet culture taught us to ignore hunger and other cues; my mission is to help people reconnect with those signals. Children naturally eat then move on; adults can relearn that trust. The mainstream diet message is loud and profitable, but we can choose a different, kinder path—lift heavy, enjoy food, and live fully.
Developing Strength Training Skills
Steph Gaudreau
What practical advice do you give someone ready to move from appearance goals to performance goals?
Deanna Harder
You need to be truly ready. Do internal work to rebuild trust around food, seek supportive coaching, and practice mindful experiments rather than strict rules. Replace “control” with “trust.” Start small, be patient, and give your body room to adapt. The body is resilient—if you listen, you’ll learn what it needs.
Experimenting to Find What Works for You
Steph Gaudreau
Treat changes as experiments. People move at their own pace; readiness matters.
Deanna Harder
If you’re not ready, that’s okay. When you are, the shift will be one of the best decisions you can make. The cost of ignoring your body can be high—I learned that the hard way. But recovery and trust are possible.
Coaching for Badass Women
Deanna Harder
You can find me under my name on social media and at my website. I offer virtual coaching and group programs that focus on strength, process, and moderation rather than fat loss or before-and-after marketing. My groups prioritize building strength, finding balance, and staying out of dieting cycles.
Steph Gaudreau
Thank you, Deanna—this has been an important conversation. If you’d like to learn how to fuel for strength without counting every bite, check my group coaching information at my site. You can also find show notes and the full transcript online.
If this episode resonated, share it on social media and tag us. Hit subscribe in your podcast app to help others find the show. Thanks for listening—see you next week for another episode about getting stronger and living fully.